‘Dark chocolate cake for a dark boy’: Former Indian cricketer opens up on racism by teammates

Laxman Sivaramakrishnan made his Test debut at 17, took 12 wickets in a match at 19, and played a role in India’s 1985 World Championship of Cricket win.

Once seen as one of India’s most naturally gifted cricketers, Laxman Sivaramakrishnan says his journey in the game was shaped not just by early success, but by repeated incidents of racism that left a lasting impact on him.

The former leg-spinner, who troubled players like Saleem Malik and Imran Khan early in his career, did not have a long international run.

In an interview with The Indian Express, he said there were “other factors” that affected him, including remarks about his skin colour that stayed with him over the years.

Laxman recalled that one of the earliest incidents happened when he was just 14, working as a net bowler for the Indian team at Chepauk in Chennai. A senior player, he said, mistook him for ground staff and asked him to clean his shoes.

“I just looked at him and said, ‘That’s none of my business. You just do what you need to do,’” the former cricketer said.

He later realised the player had mistaken him for support staff. “I didn’t know what racism or colour discrimination was. I was just wondering why this man had to react like this.”

The comments did not stop there.

In the Tamil Nadu team, he said some players called him “karupa (dark-skinned)”. When he fielded near the boundary in cities like Mumbai, Chandigarh and Jalandhar, crowds would chant, “Kalia, tera kya hoga.”

Another moment stayed with him from his 17th birthday during a tour of Pakistan. A cake arranged by captain Sunil Gavaskar turned into a painful memory after a teammate’s remark.

“Hey Sunny, you ordered the right colour cake. Such a dark chocolate cake for a dark boy,” a senior player said.

“I started crying and refused to cut the cake. Sunil Gavaskar had to pacify me, and then I cut the cake with tears in my eyes.”

Looking back, Sivaramakrishnan said these repeated experiences slowly affected his confidence. “Because of my dark skin, people would dismiss me. There was a sense of hurt every time this happened. I always wanted to forget, forget, forget, but deep down, it’s always rooted and it comes out.”

His cricketing rise had been quick. He made his Test debut at 17, took 12 wickets in a match at 19, and played a role in India’s 1985 World Championship of Cricket win. But his career faded early, and he played his last international match at 21.

Years later, he says what stayed with him was not just the game he played, but the things he went through while playing it.

 

Life after cricket

 

Laxman went through a difficult phase after being dropped from the Tamil Nadu team a day after returning from the 1987 World Cup. He said the selectors called him in and told him he did not have a place in the side, and asked him to tell the press that he was unfit. He refused, saying if they wanted, they could drop him, and he was then left out of the team.

He later took up a job in Chennai, earning Rs 8,000 a month while balancing work and practice. He moved into commentary in 2000, first working with Doordarshan and then WorldTel before joining the BCCI commentary panel, where he spent 23 years behind the microphone.

During this period too, he said the sense of exclusion stayed with him. During the pandemic years, he also struggled with his mental health.

Now 60, Sivaramakrishnan says he has chosen to step away from the game and focus on a quieter life. He spends time on the golf course and keeps his distance from his cricketing past, with no trophies or reminders of his career at home.