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What the FAANG is going on? Matchmaking, or something like that

What the FAANG is going on? Matchmaking, or something like that

So, there’s a website called faangshaadi.com and we do see the “why”.

WE don't know about FAANG partners, but right now Netflix reccos are looking better WE don't know about FAANG partners, but right now Netflix reccos are looking better

If you are at a marriageable age, or if your parents and relatives think that you are of a marriageable age, then it’s a truth universally acknowledged that you must be in want of a wife/husband. And since it’s 2022 and you might be considering having the sangeet in the metaverse and get NFTs plus one rupee coins as gifts, looking for a FAANG partner is probably much higher on the list.

Web 3.0 may or may not happen, but Big Tech is here to stay so might as well, no?

What is FAANG?

FAANG is an acronym referring to the stocks of top five American tech companies - Facebook (now Meta), Amazon, Apple, Netflix, and Google (Alphabet).

In this wonderful, tech-plagued universe, if you are looking to find someone who works in one of these FAANG companies, there are many ways to go about with it. Moving to Silicon Valley is one of them, but closer home, there’s something called faangshaadi.com. We aren’t making this up, we really wish we were.

Faangshaadi.com promises to help you find “your soulmate among the top tech companies, because you deserve no less”. The site also claims to have validated profiles, ones that have passed a mandatory test, and are LinkedIn-verified for “current or past experience in a top tech company”. It also collects more than “30 data points” with a “hand-tuned GPT-4 powered model trained on over 5M+ users” and says that they can recommend better matches than Netflix. There is also “fine-grained filtering” based on CTC, years of experience, stocks vested, etc.

Faangshaadi.com is going to check your eligibility via CodeForces, Leetcode, HackerRank, or InterviewBit handles, or put you thorough a quick coding challenge. The site says that users “also need to sign up with your work email to verify you are from a top tech company. Our deep network of FAANG engineers and recruiters verify your salary band and seniority level.”

Next, they register you. “We collect data points around your current job and past career trajectory as well as collecting intent and potential for future. Accurately filling the form is very important. You'll be surprised how data-points like typing speed and variable naming patterns correlate with matrimonial success!”

Typing speed can make or break a deal, we have to admit.

For the matchmaking part, the site claims that “with dataset of over 200k successful matches from matrimonial sites and mapping career trajectories of over 50k engineers we sat down with OpenAI to develop a custom matchmaking algorithm. Former Spotify and Netflix recommendation team PMs have validated our approach. While you get new recommendations everyday, you can also manually search for the one.”

If you click on “Sign Up”, it takes you through a short MCQ test with questions like - Are you a software engineer? Are you at a FAANG company? On a scale of 0 to 100, what 'x' engineer are you? How many FAANG relationships have you had? What does your marriage roadmap look like? How many times have you revolved around the earth?

Give it your worst, tell them that you aren’t an engineer, you haven’t coded in your life, that you don’t age, and are looking to get married in two weeks, all roads lead to Rome.

And Rome is another website.

“The best way to find a FAANG life partner is being at FAANG!”

"But How?”

The answer to this is scaler.com, a website that promises lessons from top tech instructors in fields like data science, machine learning (ML), software engineering, etc.

If we’ve gotten you feeling all hopeful till this point, our apologies. Faangshaadi.com is an elaborate April Fool’s joke. The disclaimer is smartly placed under the Disclaimer section on the site. Also, this is not the first time this website has surfaced. It first turned up around the same time last year, and let's just say that Diwali dry fruits are not the only things that get seasonally recycled and reused.

“Voila! We love a good, elaborate April Fool's joke. Wait, did you think we were actually serious? We love coders and helping them grow but matchmaking isn't something we are venturing out into, just yet. But who knows what the future holds!” the disclaimer reads.

If one was to pay attention, the choice of answers offered for the MCQs should have been a clear giveaway, but some hopeful single coder looking for a FAANG contact and a relationship might gloss over the ‘Lol’s and the other tongue-in-cheek digs. Also, for a nation so intensely obsessed with making their kids techies/engineers/doctors or getting them married to techies/engineers/doctors, faangshaadi.com could be seen as the solution.

Too bad it isn’t and Seema Aunty still has a job.

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