At first a conundrum, then Dr Manmohan Singh: Sonia Gandhi writes about turning down the PM’s role in memoir

Congress leader Sonia Gandhi's decision to turn down the prime minister's post in 2004 was far from the straightforward act of renunciation it came to be portrayed as. She initially rejected the idea outright, was eventually persuaded by alliance leaders to reconsider, reluctantly uttered a barely audible "theek hai", and then, after an emotionally turbulent night, returned to her original position – paving the way for Manmohan Singh to become prime minister.

In her memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, published by HarperCollins India and released on Tuesday, Gandhi detailed the internal conflict, family conversations and political negotiations behind one of the most consequential decisions in India's recent political history.

She writes that she had discussed the possibility of becoming prime minister with her children, Rahul Gandhi and Priyanka Gandhi Vadra, months before the 2004 elections. When asked whether she would accept the post if the Congress won, her response was emphatic: "Absolutely not!"

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Both Rahul and Priyanka opposed the idea, having experienced the trauma of their grandmother Indira Gandhi's assassination and the murder of their father, former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi. They associated the office with heightened personal danger.

"They looked relieved and I, too, felt lighter, having said my views out loud on the question for the first time," she writes.

However, after the Congress-led alliance's victory, pressure began mounting on her to take the top job. Gandhi says she was torn between her personal convictions and her sense of responsibility towards party workers and supporters who had placed their faith in her.

"One minute I was clear, the next, I was torn," she recalls.

The pressure reached a crescendo during a meeting with alliance leaders in Rajiv Gandhi's conference room at her 10, Janpath residence. One after another, leaders urged her to reconsider her refusal.

When she finally reiterated her position, they refused to accept it.

"'We will not accept this,' one of them says. 'You cannot take this decision, Madam,' says another. Their tone is forceful, almost aggressive. 'We will not take no for an answer’," writes Gandhi.

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Feeling overwhelmed, Gandhi says she eventually mumbled ‘theek hai’ (all right), almost inaudibly. The leaders immediately began congratulating her, apparently taking the response as confirmation that she had agreed to become prime minister.

Outside the room, Priyanka was waiting. On hearing that her mother had agreed, she rushed to find Rahul, who reacted angrily.

"'You said yes?' thundered Rahul. 'They wouldn't listen to me,' I replied, 'I don't want to do it, you know I don't. I was being pressurised’," she writes.

Priyanka, meanwhile, urged her mother not to give in to pressure. "You've always been clear about this. Don't get forced into it. Do what you've decided to do. We're both here to help you handle it," she told her.

Gandhi then retreated to her bedroom, where she struggled with two competing voices. One questioned how someone born and brought up in Italy could lead a country of more than a billion people. The other reminded her of her responsibilities towards a country that had embraced her after Rajiv Gandhi's death.

"How can you abandon your responsibility to those who have placed their faith in you, in your party?" she recalls asking herself.

Eventually, she says, her mind cleared of its doubts. She went to Rahul's room and told him: "I've made up my mind. I'm going to stick to my stand."

He embraced her and replied: "It's the right decision."

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Why Sonia Gandhi chose Manmohan Singh

With her decision to decline the prime ministership finalised, Gandhi had to identify someone who could lead the government, which was expected to take oath the following day.

She says several senior Congress leaders were qualified for the position, but Manmohan Singh stood out because of his integrity, administrative experience and understanding of governance.

"Amongst all of them was one who had long been in my sight as a person above reproach, and possessed a deep and consummate understanding of governance. That was Dr Manmohan Singh," she writes.

Singh, an experienced economist, had served as finance minister in the early 1990s under then prime minister PV Narasimha Rao and was instrumental in introducing India's economic reforms.

Gandhi also believed his political positioning would help reassure different constituents of the incoming United Progressive Alliance (UPA) government.

"He was not allied to any camp in the party," she says, adding that with the Congress now dependent on support from Communist parties, Singh could assuage doubts about the government's ability to manage the economy and continue policies initiated years earlier.

She also highlights his personal journey, from a village in Punjab, now in Pakistan, to the universities of Oxford and Cambridge and international institutions.

"Aside from all his accomplishments as a scholar and technocrat, what I knew best about Dr Singh was that he had a kind and compassionate heart, and his integrity unquestionable," she writes.

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Gandhi says she believed the country would be safe in his hands. After consulting senior colleagues, she proposed Singh's name. None opposed the choice, given his experience and reputation.

Singh was approached privately about accepting the position. Although he initially declined, he was eventually persuaded.

The memoir also recounts the events of May 18, when Gandhi and Singh travelled to Rashtrapati Bhawan to stake the UPA's claim to form the government.

Gandhi says she did not discuss the prime ministership with Singh during their journey back to 10, Janpath. He had naturally assumed, like everyone else, that she would become prime minister. The decisive moment came in Parliament, where Gandhi was repeatedly urged to reconsider her decision. She eventually told MPs that she would follow her "inner voice" and humbly decline the post.

After briefly leaving the gathering, she returned and asked the assembled MPs to allow her to designate her successor. Once they agreed, she announced Manmohan Singh's name.

"I step down from heading the Congress Parliamentary Party and Dr Singh is nominated as its leader," she writes, recalling the applause, slogans and tears that followed.

Singh went on to lead the Congress-led UPA government for 10 years, while Gandhi remained at the helm of the party and its alliance.

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