'Sorry papa, I couldn't...': Kanpur gold medallist engineer dies by suicide after 50 failed attempts to secure govt job

Anand had a gold medal, a state rank and nearly 50 attempts at a government job behind him. On Saturday, the 23-year-old B Tech topper from Kanpur was found dead in his room. A handwritten five-line note was recovered from the scene.

According to police, the note read: "Sorry, papa, I tried nearly 50 times to get a government job, but I couldn't succeed. Please forgive me."

Anand had topped the B Tech Electrical Engineering programme at PSIT, a private engineering college, in 2024 and finished third in Uttar Pradesh. He was awarded a gold medal at a college function on August 13, 2024, recognition that pointed to a young man who had worked hard and delivered results where it counted. What the ceremony could not have captured was the quiet, mounting pressure of the years that followed.

What happened

His family was away in Bihar to finalise his elder brother's marriage when the incident took place. The domestic help raised the alarm after repeated knocks on the door went unanswered. Police broke open the door and found Anand hanging from a ceiling fan in his room at the family's three-storey house in the Gujaini area of Govind Nagar.

The body was sent for post-mortem examination, and the last rites were performed at Bhairav Ghat on Saturday evening.

What his family said

Anand's father Rajkumar, a retired employee of Lohiya Private Limited and originally from Buxar in Bihar, said his son had done everything right but still found himself without the outcome he was working toward. After graduating, Anand completed a one-year apprenticeship with Power Grid before turning his full attention to competitive examinations.

"He appeared for recruitment examinations conducted by the Railways, SSC, banks and the education department, but could not succeed. He had been under severe stress for the past several months," Rajkumar said.

The examinations Anand sat- Railways, SSC, banking and education department recruitments- are among the most fiercely contested in the country, drawing millions of applicants for a limited number of posts. For many graduates, repeated attempts across years become a gruelling, isolating experience, particularly when family expectations and personal ambition are tied to the outcome.

What police said

Station House Officer of Govind Nagar police station Ashok Kumar Dubey confirmed the note had been recovered from the room. "Preliminary investigation suggests he was under stress over not being able to secure a government job. However, all aspects of the case are being examined," he said.

(If you need support or know someone who does, please reach out to your nearest mental health specialist. Helplines are also available: Vandrevala Foundation for Mental Health 9999666555 or help@vandrevalafoundation.com TISS iCall 022-25521111 Monday-Saturday: 8 am to 10 pm)